Queer Voices
Queer Voices
December 17th - Tammi Wallace of the Greater Houston LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce and Holiday Traditions!
Welcome to the first of a couple of our QUEER VOICES Holiday Specials! We talk with Tammi Wallace about the Greater Houston LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce and how you can use them as a resource to find the right business to do... well... anything with! Then we have a roundtable featuring Bryan Hlavinka, Deborah Moncrief Bell, R. Lee Ingalls, and Brett Cullum discussing holiday traditions within the community. And we play a song or two to get you in the mood for the holidays!
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SPEAKER_04:Come on, get happy. I hear again.
Brett:So, first up, we talk to Tammy Wallace about the Greater Houston LGBTQ Plus Chamber of Commerce and how you can find businesses friendly to the community to do your holiday shopping, or really for any other need you may have. Then we have a round table discussion with Deborah Moncrief Bell, Brian Llovinka, and author R. Lee Ingalls joining me to talk about holidays and traditions that we observe as part of the community. Also sprinkled here and there, there will be holiday music to get you in the mood. Career Voices starts now. Hi, this is Brett Cullum, and today I am joined by Tammy Wallace of the Greater Houston LGBTQ Plus Chamber of Commerce. I wanted to get her advice on holiday shopping in our community and talk about some chamber events and plans for the new year. So happy holidays, or rather happy holidays, as I am prone to say, just to annoy my Republican parents. Welcome to Queer Voices again, Tammy. Nice to see you again.
SPEAKER_08:Nice to see you, Brett. Okay, you're starting off this interview. So great. I love it.
Brett:I know. I'm I'm incorrigible. But uh we did a segment uh a while back about doing research for companies to find out who is LGBTQIA plus supportive a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to ask you how you do that.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, so um, so we, you know, we have our membership base. We have about 560 plus members at the timber, and um we have our directory online where people can go and find LGBTQ plus supportive and inclusive businesses to do their holiday shopping. And you know, you've heard me say this so many times, but we are promoting, you know, supporting LGBTQ-owned and allied-owned businesses, not just during the holidays, but all throughout the year so we can drive economic empowerment for the community.
Brett:Well, I've been looking at this directory, it's amazing. It is just uh business.houstonlgbt chamber.com member directory after a forward slash there. But you've got every category and you can basically just put in like the area of town you're in, or if you're not even in Houston, you can put in another area or something. I mean, it's amazing. Yeah. And how did you guys collect all of this? I mean, it's just your membership, or is it also the I know that you have some affiliation with the national chamber as well.
SPEAKER_08:So this is just our local regional membership that you're going to see. But some of our members, I mean, we have a member as far as Schuleberg, if you can imagine. Yeah. Um, because people want to be connected, connected with the chamber. And it is, it's such a robot, robust research tool. This is one of the reasons we tell businesses, engage with the chamber because we're actively working on campaigns to push people to that directory. And and particularly these days, you know, wanting people are trying to be more intentional about how they spend their dollars, and that directory just becomes an incredible, incredible resources. But that's just one of the huge benefits for businesses to be part of the chamber. And look, it's not just businesses. If you're looking for a nonprofit, you want to support during the holidays, if you're giving, we have about 55 of those uh in um in the directory, uh, along with, you know, other types of organizations.
Brett:Well, you know, giving this year is a big thing because a lot of people lost their federal funding or their grants. So I I really encourage that. I mean, I really am looking for programs that I can support that are part of our community that I can feel good about contributing to. I mean, obviously we've we talked about the Salvation Army. Um cross-purpose with with us at some points, but and now I can find like another organization that I can feel better about doing.
SPEAKER_08:Well, and think about that. Yes. I mean, and then again, being intentional with supporting nonprofits, right? That support our community. And that goes for not just LGBTQ plus led or focused nonprofits, but mainstream nonprofits that are have a commitment to the community, which you'll find, find in our directories. So maybe, you know, there's uh uh Emancipat, for example, is one of our nonprofit members. So if you're helping Emancipate. Oh, Emancipators. Okay, yes, so they help, you know, uh shelter dogs and adoptions and all of that. Mainstream organization that um nonprofit organization that's part of the chamber. And so, you know, you can find all kinds of resources in the chamber directory, but that's just one example of a nonprofit member that's not LGBTQ focused, but you know, supporting the community.
Brett:Oh, don't tell me this, Tammy. I don't have a dog right now. Oh my spouse is gonna kill you because I'm gonna look up my man so fast and be like, Yeah, they're they're gonna do it for the holiday.
SPEAKER_08:They're amazing folks. Join uh join this this year. And that's you know, that's what we're doing in this LGBTQ, what we call ecosystem, right? Is helping to lift up uh LGBTQ owned businesses by nonprofits, large companies, their ERG groups, et cetera, all through connection, connection with community, and ultimately to drive this economy, an inclusive economy where everyone belongs. That's the work we're doing 365 days a year.
Brett:Now, recently I talked about the hub certification, which has recently changed significantly. I mean dramatically crazy. And uh they mentioned that Houston does have an LGBTQ list in the city of Houston. Is that am I getting that right? What is that?
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, so um, so there is a certification for LGBTQ owned businesses. If you're 51% or more on uh more owned, you can qualify. And it's um what we call LGBTBE or business enterprise certification. The third-party certifying body is the national LGBTQ and allied chamber of commerce. So we're an affiliate completely standalone, but we work with them to get businesses LGBTBE certified. So what Julie, your your prior guest, would have shared. So I worked with Mayor Turner a number of years ago to get that certification recognized at the city of Houston. He signed an executive order. It was historic, making Houston the first city in the state to recognize LGBTBE certified businesses. And so you can go to the city's directory and find a list of those certified businesses.
Brett:Yeah. So and if a business wants to be on that list, they could come to you as a resource and to the chamber to get that kind of certification.
SPEAKER_08:And the great thing is part of our partnership with uh the NGLCC is the acronym that they have historically used, the National Chamber. Um, if you're a member of our chamber, the eight nine it's an$8.99 certification fee, that's completely waived. So you get that immediately, right, as part of your member benefits, but then all of the local and regional benefits that we offer our members. It's a real, it's a real win-win.
Brett:Yeah, and it's so important right now. I mean, I really do try. Uh I I was talking about how Lee and I always try to shop. Yeah. Businesses that we know are owned by local community. We we definitely like run up and down 18th Street and look for the people that are supporting community.
SPEAKER_08:You know, I think I think I hear you say that, and I know you guys are just so so supportive and intentional, right? With your spending. And I know, you know, I've known known you guys for years and this just group of friends, this core group of friends that you have. So I think about if every one of that core group of just your friends are doing that intentionally, imagine the impact of that if you were to quantify that. Amazing remarkable. Yeah.
Brett:Yeah. No, I always try to keep my dollars in the community as much as I possibly can. And it's it's one of those things. It's it's it's what we do. And I think as a group, sometimes we're not as good at doing it as other groups are at doing it. And maybe it's because it's harder to know for sure. But I do see a lot of businesses have the little decals that you guys put out that says member of the chamber. So that helps a lot when I see that on their door. I'm like, oh, I got safe care.
SPEAKER_08:And we and exactly, we love that. And that's that's truly, you know, we want to grow this initiative because you're exactly right. We have not been as intentional as a community. Just it's just building the awareness and getting people to think about intentionally spending their dollars with LGBTQ and allied-on businesses. And then when you when people hear that, we've done this with, for example, some of our large employers, chamber members, partners, their employee resource groups. We tell them during Pride Month, you need t-shirts, buy from an LGBTQ owned business, right? You need cookies, buy from, you know, and it's the awareness, and they're like, wow, we can do that. I can't even tell you how much so many of our members have benefited just from that, with those employee resource groups filling in June. We're buying from an LGBTQ owned business, intentional spending. So we're gonna expand, right, this campaign to raise the awareness of the community. And if we can do that, the impact will be exponential. I mean, we'll it'd just be remarkable.
Brett:Okay, so one more time, we've got the Houston LGBT chamber.com is your thing. And then you can get to the directory, you can look at stuff like that, you can do holiday shopping there, definitely like figure out, but also any, honestly, anything. I mean, there's like divisions for agriculture, fishing, and forestry. Literally, yeah. Some t shirts.
SPEAKER_08:I mean, I mean it just goes to show we're we're everywhere, we're everyone, which is the beauty of our community.
Brett:Yeah, and I'm I'm definitely gonna dive into this health and wellness one because that's something that's close to my heart. And I definitely am looking for a couple of new providers. So I'll be on this directory right after when we finish talking.
SPEAKER_08:But okay, so that's and we want to grow this directory, right? We want even more options for our members, particularly like you know, if you're out in Katie, we want those businesses joining. Because if you're, you know, doing business, you live in Katie, you want to find inclusive businesses or Cyprus, or you know, because we are a regional China, right? So we're gonna keep growing it.
Brett:And it's wild because for so long we just looked at Montrose as our community, but now that has just become so gentrified, and we have expanded out. And I can't tell you how many people I know that live in Katie or way out and that live in Schulenberg, you know, that kind of thing. And you're just like, wow, we are just everywhere now. And that's another thing that makes it hard to find the businesses that are there because in, you know, a lot of it, let's be honest, a lot of the businesses in in those areas are chains and they're ones that have kind of weird politics. I'd rather support somebody local and I'd rather have somebody in my community.
SPEAKER_08:And I and I will say this is just the kind of the flip side, but we do have businesses that have approached us from Katie or Cyprus or, you know, Richmond, whatever. And uh they want to join the chamber, but they're they're scared. They're fearful that, you know, of being outed. And so these are the how, you know, we often say that members come to us when they're ready. I had a gentleman talk to us at our holiday celebration last night. He's like, I haven't joined yet. I'm just kind of coming out. And I said, We're here when you're ready.
Brett:Yeah. Well, it's hard because it is, it's taking a stance. And it's definitely in this political climate, it's a little bit wild. And speaking of this political climate, holidays, all of that, tell me a little bit about what you all have coming up for 2026. Are there big events? Are there what am I gonna look for?
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, let me tell you how excited we are about 2026 because the chamber is gonna be celebrating its 10-year anniversary. No way. Yes, can you believe 10 years of creating, you know, economic impact in the region? And so you're gonna be seeing all kinds of uh the community is gonna be seeing all kinds of updates, events we're gonna be celebrating all year long to actually today are save the day for our big pride and business celebration. That's our luncheon and after party. Epic, epic Pride Month event, the largest luncheon in the LGBTQ plus community. And it is gonna be uh on June 12th. We're gonna have well over a thousand people joining us.
Brett:My gosh.
SPEAKER_08:Yes. So we're gonna lunch for a thousand people. We do that at the Hilton Americas, our wonderful, wonderful partners who have hosted us the last couple of years. And in fact, it's grown so much, we're gonna be moving up to the fourth floor ballroom at the Hilton Americas, which is gonna give us so much more pre-function and after party space. So we're gonna be adding an expo so our businesses can table. It is gonna be an amazing, amazing party. Celebration, we give away 11 Pride and Business Awards. So, and that's in June, but back up, I mean, we're starting the year off, kicking off with, you know, all of our monthly events starting in January. In fact, the district attorney will be our special guest for our third Thursday breakfast in January. And February is the anniversary month. So we're gonna do a big anniversary party and then just celebrating all throughout the year. We've got some fun things attached. We're gonna do something with Houston Asia Town Tours, one of our members, uh, Kathy Podell. She does tours over, you know, in in uh Asia Town. And we're gonna go to an Asian American owned business. There's some great fun things. I mean, with that, it's just gonna be a spectacular year.
Brett:I hate talking to you because now I want to take a tour of Asia Town with this company. She's amazing. Yeah, I'm gonna have a dog and I'm gonna have a tour of Asia Town. And we're gonna be like, where did you get all this?
SPEAKER_07:We gotta get the third one in here somewhere. I mean, yeah, yes, we gotta get the third one in here. Yes.
Brett:Oh my gosh, yes, you were getting me in so much trouble, but I love it. Um definitely I I can't believe that you are 10 years old this year. So you were founded in 2015.
SPEAKER_08:16. 2016, that's right.
Brett:Because we're going into 2026.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, 2016. But think about that, and this is the one thing we talk about when we talk about the history of the chamber. Think about what happened in 2016. That was the first Trump election, right? Yeah. In 2017, Hurricane Harvey. And then we had the Texas freeze, and then we celebrated our fifth anniversary during the pandemic. Uh, and barrel, and you know, I could just keep going on and on. And so we often say that resilience is literally in the DNA of the chamber. And it's because every year we've had incredible challenges. But we keep going, we keep moving, and we do that because our community needs us, right? Our community, our businesses, we have to succeed. So 10 years will be a celebration of the past, where we're at now, but also where we're going. And and part of that past is this resilience that we've been able to build, which just quite frankly mirrors the resilience of our community.
Brett:Absolutely. And right now, resilience is everything. But it has been. It's it's always been. I mean, I th I thought back to I know you you all did a big thing for World AIDS Day, and I I yeah that day was very somber for me, and I remembered all of that, and I thought, my gosh. And of course Lee wrote this big huge tribute to you know all of that. And I just I don't know, it's it's so much a part of our community. And and what I love about the chamber is your events are so much fun and they're not too serious. You know what I mean? Like sometimes you go to something and it's just like, oh my gosh, this is politics or this is you know, exactly something very somber and like oh let's remember these but we really celebrate at the chamber. I think that that's uh the nice part.
SPEAKER_08:I mean we we celebrate community every day of the year. And you know, if you come to an event, it is about hope, right? Hope's that we are not we're gonna have, you know, we're connecting now, but we're gonna keep moving forward. And this was part of my post-election day message, you know, last year. And we impart that with this concept we call radical hospitality. And that is when everyone walks through our door, it's a place where they feel like they're welcome and that they belong. And that's needed so much today. And that radical hospitality comes through as hope, as support, as people being able to engage with community. And we're literally just kind of wrapping our arms around the community and saying, come in, be in community. We hope, you know, you make some great connections, whether you're own a business or not, nonprofit, whatever that looks like, we're here to support you.
Brett:Well, you know what? I've been driving all of my other hosts on Queer Voices Crazy, asking them what gives them hope. So I'm gonna ask you, what gives you hope for 2026?
SPEAKER_08:Um, what gives me hope? Well, you know, when I uh uh when this morning we're all kind of basking in the glow of our holiday celebration, we had uh over four hundred and fifty people that, you know, joined us for that and just Literally the joy that I saw on the faces of people connecting. And that gives me hope that as a community, no matter what happens to us, we're not giving up. We're staying connected. We're staying in community. But also what gives me hope is celebrating 10 years of the chamber, you know, chambers anniversary and knowing that we've got an incredible 10 years, 20 years ahead of us for the work that we have to do. And that this community has been so supportive in embracing this concept of an LGBTQ plus chamber in Houston that gives me hope. And I have to say, maybe some of the uh the election, special elections on Tuesday might give me a little hope too. Oh my gosh.
Brett:I'm doing it. I'm voting on like Saturday, I think, because I missed early voting. I was too busy. Yes, yes. Awesome. Well, I wanted to ask you, do you have any uh holiday traditions with your wife and family? Is there anything that you do special every year, just kind of personally?
SPEAKER_08:You know, um, my wife and I, we've we've had just quieter uh Christmas celebrations over the last few years. And um, that's really just been about us being together because I'm so busy and the work that I'm doing that I'm running, you know. So that's been our tradition to just stop and uh be together, not out, you know, we love family, we love friends and all that, but just spending spending time together. And we've got, you know, we've got our little uh what we like to call our herd, our uh three cats and and two dogs. So we love you at a fancy pet. Yes. All of them are rescues, I will, I will say. So, but uh you know, but one of one of my personal traditions is to uh particularly on Christmas morning, is just to re and I I do this on uh New Year's too, is to just be intentional when I when I get up, get my coffee, and spend the morning uh on an exercise of just gratitude, what I'm thankful for. And I'm you know, I'm incredibly blessed. My wife is incredible. In fact, today's our anniversary. Yes, the day we got married, yes, uh, 25th, 10 years.
Brett:And you're you're celebrating the chamber at the same time. Exactly. She's been there for this whole crazy ride.
SPEAKER_08:She has been there for this whole crazy ride. You know, it's been a lot, I will, I will say. But, you know, just gratitude and bless because I often tell our team, how often is it that you get to wake up every day and do the work that we get to do that moves the needle, moves the bar for the community, makes a difference, makes an impact, and is so, so fulfilling. So I just think about these things, and particularly when the work gets hard, but those are that's my gratitude exercises on Christmas Day and New Year's. And New Year's is also about, you know, the looking, looking forward.
Brett:It's nice. I feel like there's a stillness to Christmas, and then there's kind of an excitement of New Year's when you're going forward. So thank you so much. Uh Tammy Wallace, uh, Greater Houston LGBTQ plus Chamber of Commerce, a great place to network, a great place to find businesses that support our communities. I'm gonna ask you one last goofy question. Do you have a favorite holiday song? Is there one that like you really like just lights you up as far as you know it's the holidays when you hear it?
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, uh, you know, uh what's the uh Mariah Carey song?
Brett:I'm All I want for Christmas is year.
SPEAKER_08:Yes, yes, yes. That one. But that is just the I mean, it's just the jazziest song, right? I mean, how could you not get, you know, like, oh yeah, you hear it, you know. We're in the holiday season. But going back to what you said about um stillness, right? And stillness of the holidays, but and I heard this on a movie the other night and just brought tears to my eyes, but it it's silent night. That one really just it it grounds me, uh, that particular song with the holidays.
Brett:Yeah, I think we probably just made every retail person twitch with our imaginative Mariah Carey. Yeah great song as last it. She's been the Queen of Christmas, so we'll we'll give it to her.
SPEAKER_08:She she has.
Brett:Well, maybe we can get her for June 12th for the tenure.
SPEAKER_08:Wouldn't that be awesome? Keep an eye out. We're gonna be, you know, sharing a lot of announcements coming out. So and um, Brett, thank you for all you do with Queer Voices at the Queer Voices group and team. And you this is such an important medium for our community. People don't even understand how people can connect and listen and connect with community with them being so sometimes so far away. But you all bring it every week and just grateful to you and happy holidays to you and Lee.
Brett:Well, thank you, and happy holidays to everybody in the chamber, and actually Lee and I are members, so there you go.
SPEAKER_08:Yes, you are. We love it.
Brett:Yeah, have a great one.
SPEAKER_08:Thank you.
Brett:We've got Brian LaVinka and Deborah Moncrete Bell uh is with us, and so is author Arlie Ingalls. And of course you're here because we live in the same house. Right. So we want to live somewhere. Sorry. I'm not going anywhere. But we wanted to.
Deborah :Just to be clear, he is there willingly.
Brett:This is true. Uh, but we wanted to talk about the holidays, which I call the holidays, just to annoy my Republican parents. I'm starting this whole trend. Oh, I love it.
SPEAKER_06:I love it, I love it.
Brett:Yes, and my parents are I mean, they're great. We get along now, but uh, we definitely had some issues growing up and coming out, and I had to really adjust my holiday traditions around a family. And I wanted to talk to all of you about have you experienced kind of the same thing when you came out or as queer or gay or bi or lesbian? I mean, what how did that shift your family and especially during this time of year?
SPEAKER_06:So I I came out to my parents in college, and unfortunately they didn't make it past they're not alive now, they're unalive. So we kind of had to adjust our Christmas traditions around that. And so David and I go to New York for Christmas usually to see Broadway shows, which is a passion of mine.
Brett:Yeah, you see every show almost, but that's that's not your new tradition.
SPEAKER_06:It kind of morphed uh a New York theater trip into Christmas. So we would go to usually between Christmas and New Year's. Yeah.
Brett:Well, and you have to see New York during Christmas. It's gonna be beautiful, right? It's very beautiful, it's very expensive though. Oh.
Deborah :I always like the idea of going on a trip somewhere uh uh or a cruise or something during Christmas time, unless you have children, and I'm talking about younger than teenage years. Um because to me that's what Christmas is all about, is the children.
Brett:Well you have a uh your grandchild, right?
Deborah :Right. So unfortunately they're not in Houston and traveling is tricky. Certainly, uh I could go to New York or they came here one year and that was wonderful. But uh it's uh it's also different when you are a non-religious family. I mean, I celebrate the winter solstice, but to me Christmas was really just about being with people you care about and want to be with.
SPEAKER_06:Your chosen family.
Deborah :Right, right. And I I mean I have wonderful memories growing up. There were five children in my family. We weren't always in a a particularly good financial situation. Uh come from a working class family. Uh Christmas was always very special and so many fond memories. I remember traveling from Lubbock, Texas, all the way to Meridian, Mississippi, where my grandparents lived. And there would be things that we would see every year. You know, it's like, oh, there's that holiday display, or oh, look at there. There's there was this one thing we called it the jumping jack. And it was like, Oh, there's the house with the jumping jack. And and then just getting to see your grandparents and cousins and things. That's what made it fun. That's what made it joyful.
Brett:As a kid, I definitely felt that. But I think as an adult, as I came out, I I think it changed, it shifted quite a bit. How did that change, Brett? Well, my father was somewhat unaccepting of my relationship with Lee for a while, and so I I drew a hard line and I said, Hey, I'm not gonna spend Christmas with you because I'm gonna spend Christmas with Lee. So we can meet on another day or another time or whatever, but we're not gonna see each other on the actual holiday. And I think that that kind of set in motion a couple of things in my family where they had to get okay with it. And I think it was really my half-brother and my half-sister that really kind of pushed that envelope too and said, Hey, we don't want to miss holidays with Brett just because of this one issue. But that was definitely a big thing. And now it's um and now it's it's better. And we definitely see them over the holidays. And I think that they like Lee better than they like me, to be honest.
SPEAKER_06:Well, Lee brings the family pedigree, I think.
Brett:Well, Lee's family is very different.
Lee:Yeah, yeah. Although the stories are not dissimilar. So growing up as a kid, you know, my Christmases were all good. So for me, it was one of my favorite times of the year, no matter what. But there was a transition period once I came out. The first year that I moved from uh Minnesota to Louisiana, uh, I had a boyfriend. And I don't remember asking if he could come. It was probably more an announcement that he was coming with me. Uh so we went and stayed for a week. Uh, and after I got back, I got a letter from my parents saying, you know, you're welcome to come home anytime you want to, but please don't bring your friends anymore. Uh friends. So that kind of said about an 18-month period where uh I just didn't talk to him. I thought, if you don't want to be part of all my life, you don't get to be part of any of it. And then after that, uh, I got another letter from them that kind of stated the opposite. You know, we want to see you, we want to be part of your life. So bring whoever you want to. So that kind of put a period on that, on that little episode. But yeah, and so after that, it was great. For many years, our family got together at the holidays after that. So um, it was happy again. Was it a little house on the prairie that you gathered at? Kind of was. I was raised in a farm out on the Minnesota prairies, yes.
Brett:We should also mention that Lee is a member of the Ingalls family.
SPEAKER_06:The Ingles family is the same.
Lee:Yeah.
Deborah :I imagine you had some white Christmases.
Lee:Totally. It wasn't Christmas if it didn't snow. And and on more occasions than not, it did snow either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_06:So it was what what is this word you're using? Snow? What does this I've heard of like solid water coming from the sky, but you know, I don't hmm. That's that's new to me.
Lee:Of course. The first way to appreciate snow is in a photograph.
Deborah :I like to be with the hot cocoa and and bundled up and watching it, looking out the window and seeing it. It can be very beautiful, but the aftermath of a snowfall is a mess. And uh that's one reason I don't like it. That's why you live in the north. Yeah, that's one of the reasons I live in Houston.
Brett:Yeah. Yeah, we rarely have a white Christmas. It only snows in the hobby center, according to Dan Connectus of Tuts.
Deborah :I th I think they have snow at the alley this year for the Christmas carol. Yeah. And you know what? To me, right there, it's like it's not Christmas unless you go to the alley and see a Christmas carol. I've kind of gotten away from that because I've seen it so often, but you you don't get tired of it. I mean you can see it again and again.
SPEAKER_06:I have a similar tradition, except it's the Radio City Christmas spectacular. If I don't see that, then it's not Christmas.
Brett:Yeah, it's a great show. Yeah, well, there you go. But I mean, definitely here in Houston, we we've developed new traditions just around our friends. I think that in chosen family, I think that that's a really strong thing that I see in our community a lot is you really do develop that. Uh, whether it be, you know, your chosen family, Brian, going up to New York to see shows or you know, our our friends around here. I know that uh one of our friends that passed away a couple of years ago used to have Christmas every day. I mean, uh every Christmas day we went to his house. So it's been kind of weird. We're having to re-establish our traditions for that.
SPEAKER_06:Which friend was that?
Brett:Oh, that was Bob Britdick, of course. Oh, yeah. I mean Bob.
SPEAKER_06:Open house, yeah. Who was Bob Britdick, in case our listeners don't know?
Lee:Bob Britdick was kind of uh um an icon in the in the gay community. He wasn't as present as some people are, but I mean He was kind of behind the scenes, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most people knew who he was, and uh a lot of times entire circles of friends became friends because of introductions that came from Bob Britt. So very social. He was one of those people that backfilled his friends' uh group constantly. So it was always this interesting mix of older, uh middle-aged and younger people. I noticed that. Yeah, and he absolutely was was quite quite uh a big deal.
Brett:And he really was a hub for the community. I think that that's what he did, and I think that that's what his legacy is. He had these big gatherings for the holidays because he knew it was hard, and it was all about chosen family for him. And I think that that's what we've developed is that kind of idea of that new tradition of being around people that kind of affirm us.
Deborah :He was a lovely person. I was really privileged to know him for a short time. Um I remember one of the last times I saw him was we were just about to go back into a COVID lockdown. It was after Law Harrington had had opened, and uh Bob would come over and we would work jigsaw puzzles together. Oh, nice. Oh and one day we were putting a jigsaw game together, and the next day we get the notice, okay, everything's shutting down again. So that was the last chance I got to spend time with him. But but I think what he did was really lovely, and I think that that's a a great thing if there's someone who can pull together a a gathering and have special times with people. I think a lot of people probably spend time with their families, their families of origin, and then they make that separate time to be with their friends.
SPEAKER_06:I think that's especially true in the gay community where we're sometimes we don't have families to go to. They've cut us out of their lives, or in my case, my parents have passed away, so I kind of created my own family family holiday traditions with David.
Deborah :Right. And when you have a spouse, you do get kind of sucked into whatever traditions come from their families. And you know, if you can blend stuff, I know Lee is like the king of Christmas.
SPEAKER_06:The king or queen. King or queen of Christmas.
Deborah :A Royal Highness. Lee, where does your passion for Christmas come from?
Lee:It comes from my mother and grandmother. They weren't as quite as over the top with it as I was, but it was they were all about the holidays and getting the tree up, making sure that everything was just perfect and right, and um, you know, the meal time around uh the holidays was extremely important. My mother used to do an early afternoon or midday finger foods uh set up for everybody to enjoy. And then the dinner would be later in the afternoon, and it was the one and only time that they would have us kids drink wine, and it was Mogan David. Um, it looked like grape juice, and for me it just tasted horrible. I don't know why they wanted us to drink that, but inclusion in the festivities. We all had to toast, yes.
Brett:It's not Christmas unless the kids are drinking wine. Why wasn't I in that family?
Deborah :Well, one thing that we did sometimes as kids, and then in later years as an adult, I did it a few times, which is to go to a movie on Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_06:That's a good that's a good idea.
Brett:I like that. Well, are there any favorite movies that you have from like Christmas?
Deborah :Well, I have this one memory, and uh the movie was North to Alaska starring John Wayne. Wow. And the reason this really sticks out to me is as far as I can remember, that pretty much was it. The the five kids of us, you know, got to go to a movie. That was our Christmas that year. But most Christmases were not that b I mean, it's funny 'cause I don't think of it as a bad thing at all because we really enjoyed it. We were happy. And maybe it was just because we were together and there was good food and you know. I think my father was working out of town and so it was just mom and the kids, right? So we probably were a little more relaxed as well about having time like that just with the children and mother rather than um that you know, I think this is something that happens with people and it's the supposed to's and the have to's. At the holiday time people get so stressed out because I have to do this and I have to do that and I'm supposed to do this and this has to be this and such a way. And you save yourself a lot of stress if you just let that go. There's there's no sense of it. Do what you can, do a small thing, do what you most want to do, be with the people you most want to be with. Because life is too short and the times are too stressful. So, you know, that's one way of being in community and and being there for one another. Of course, there's volunteer opportunities around town going on as well, and that's another good way to get involved.
Brett:Yeah, no, definitely. Yes. About everything. I it always is the answer to me when I was single and I kind of was not having the best holidays if I if I volunteered somewhere, I just immediately was grateful for everything I had. And it really felt like a holiday.
SPEAKER_06:So we Deb told us that her favorite Christmas movie is North to Alaska. Brad and Lee, what are what are yours?
Brett:Well, I was actually trying to get at what do you watch every year? What did you watch growing up? I think that we were talking about that the other day, and Lee had an interesting answer, but I want to hear, like, Brian, what did you watch every year when you were growing up?
SPEAKER_06:How the Grinch store stole Christmas. Yeah. That's a good one. Of a certain age that that's what was on TV every year. Of course, I like the songs from the the show. We happened to see it the other night.
Deborah :Yeah, uh Frosty the Snowman, uh the Charlie Brown Christmas Sprint, Special. Exactly.
Lee:Yeah. Yeah. One thing that we used to do, or the very first memory that I had of the Christmas and watching something on TV, I was actually in kindergarten. Uh, and you if you know, uh my family moved around almost every year. So it was easy for me to picture where we were in what house when something happened, and that kind of gives me the age I was at that time. Um so that's kind of how I got to the point that I was in kindergarten. We were sitting there and watching TV, and The Wizard of Oz came on, which is not a Christmas show at all. But in my childhood, every year they would play The Wizard of Oz somewhere around the holidays. So the first time I saw it, I was just mesmerized. And of course, I'm from a very large family. Um and I think it's the first time I remember being able to tune everything else going on in the world out and just totally focus on uh what was happening on the TV, never making a connection between Judy Garland and and me at that point. Um but yeah, so that became a favorite childhood movie, and every year after that, we would search the TV guides when they came out to see when was it going to play and make sure we were sitting there because if you didn't watch it when it was broadcast, you missed it altogether. At least for that year. Those were the days. Yes.
Deborah :It's available on the Turner Classic movies. Or if you have HBO Max, you can get it through that. And you're right, it's not a a Christmas movie, but it I think it's a movie that probably touched all of us uh profoundly.
Lee:Yes, yeah, for sure.
Deborah :And I always wondered why.
SPEAKER_06:Why The Wizard of Oz? It's different portions of the rainbow coming together to fight the common enemy.
Deborah :There's probably lots of scholarly work that has been done to to express that, but it was just somehow it touched us. And it was somewhere over the rainbow. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Now, Ryan, just to clarify, North to Alaska was a movie I saw on Christmas. It's not my favorite Christmas movie.
SPEAKER_06:Deb, please pray, tell what is your favorite Christmas movie?
Deborah :I love Elf.
SPEAKER_06:Elf, that's a modern one.
Deborah :Yeah, I will watch that. There's uh one you know, it the name of it escapes me. I think it was from two years ago, and Fasilla Rashad is in it. God, what is the n name of that movie? Anyway, it's it's a delightful movie that was on um started a couple of years ago, and so I I thought that it was a good one to add to the the holiday repertoire. I'll just check the magic Google machine.
Brett:You know, I always love and I'm weird. I like the anti-Christmas movies like I Love Tim Burton, like Nightmare Before Christmas and Batman Returns. Those are two of my favorite Christmas movies. Exactly. But it is a Christmas movie because he takes over Christmas. So there you are.
SPEAKER_06:So I'm gonna argue that my favorite Christmas movie is Love Actually, and I'm gonna argue that that is a Christmas movie. Okay, I can stand behind it. It's one of the best Christmas movies in my opinion. What is Love Actually?
Deborah :Oh yeah. That's become a classic.
SPEAKER_06:I love that movie.
Deborah :Yeah, so the the movie's called Jingle Jangle, A Christmas Journey in 2020. And so that's very enjoyable. And then of course a Christmas story. I mean, we we we we have such the the classics, the white Christmas and the the a wonderful life. I mean, uh almost everyone I know will watch a wonder wonderful life. Although when you're watching it, sometimes you think, God, this is sad.
SPEAKER_06:It really is.
Brett:It's very dark.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, it's so okay. So we talked about movies. What about your favorite Christmas song?
Lee:Oh that's tough. I'm sorry, was there another one after Mariah Carey's? Play me another song. What's it called? I mean you didn't play a Christmas song. Yes. That's a recent one.
SPEAKER_06:It was okay.
Deborah :But this is the important thing, is is think about what the holiday means to you and what the best ways to express that are. Um when it comes to gift giving, you know, most adults have what they need. I mean, I I don't know how people decide what to buy other people and I take some money and spend it on you, and you take some money and spend it on me, and that just doesn't I don't know, that's just not my jam. But you know, give somebody a the PBS passport, give someone uh donate to queer voices in their name. I like that one. Uh buy 'em a ticket to a play or even a a season of of theater. Make a donation to the manil. I mean, there's so many places that you can go and you can still honor someone and give it in the spirit of gift, but it's not just something that's gonna be opened up, create a bunch of trash. A lot of things just end up in the landfill. Yeah. You know. People people do have often much more than they think, much more than they need. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_06:Americans have way more than we need.
Deborah :And you know, remember to thank people. People that have helped you out through the year, or just that you want to remember uh uh maybe people that did you a kindness and you can just you know, little thank yous. Um it it's a real treat just to get flowers or uh uh something like uh this is something children can do, especially they can make a little book of uh coupons and say, uh, you know, this is good for one, three, whatever chore, right? And so you know, you don't have to spend a lot of money, you don't have to be a lot of flash because at in the end of the day what matters, what you're gonna remember is that essence of being in family and being safe and being joyful because that's what we try to create during the holidays. And so I think that should be your guide.
Lee:Just as Yeah, we kind of changed our gift giving a couple of years ago and decided the most the best thing in our life was our time together and the the experiences, the events that we participate in. So our gifts usually are around around that. But then we also have this year was our 46th annual uh holiday party, and the holiday party for me has was Oh, I'm so sad I missed that. Yeah, bring people in that were part of our lives over the previous year and 46 years?
SPEAKER_06:That's a long time.
Lee:Forty six years he's been having this party. Forty-six years, that's what I'm saying.
unknown:Yeah.
Lee:So and it gives an opportunity to to uh thank those people that were part of our life during that year and and and kind of put a period on the year. Thank them. Yes. So to Deborah's point, yes, that is those are the most important things and the most meaningful things.
Brett:Well again, we circle back to chosen family. Yeah. So there you are.
Deborah :Well, all of you are part of my chosen family. And I've enjoyed talking about our holiday memories with you and whatever your plans are, just be safe and and stay strong because we need each other. We got a new year coming up and we're gonna be facing lots of challenges and it's good to know that folks like Ryan and Lee and Brett and the rest of the Queer Voices folks are gonna be around doing what we can.
Brett:If you want to get us a present, you can go to KPFT.org and donate and make sure that you put Queer Voices as your show that you're donating to.
SPEAKER_06:We would very much appreciate that.
Brett:Yes. Or buy a brick. They're doing a brick campaign, which I think is really cool. They you get your name on around the station.
Deborah :Yeah, if you become a sustaining member, your name is engraved on a brick that's used in the papers at K the KPFT studio. And if you want to know more about that, go to KPFT.org.
Brett:Yeah, it's pretty easy to find out about. And it's definitely a good gift for the holidays if you want to like memorialize somebody or anything like that. But I definitely think there's a lot of opportunities to do charity and do that in people's names. I know Tony's place takes donations as well. I I try to get my clothes to them since I I did a recent interview with them, and they mentioned that they have a closet for people that are homeless teens that they get to pick whatever clothes they want, regardless of gender preferences or anything like that. They will let them pick from this closet of donations.
SPEAKER_06:That is that is such a good organization after.
Brett:Yeah, and such a a sweet way to honor Tony Carroll. Another person that I think about at Christmas time. I don't know why. He just seems to be the spirit of giving. Who was Tony Carroll? Tony Carroll was a counselor, psychologist, just all of these different things. But in our community, he was huge. And of course, he was married to the dentist Bruce Smith, and they they had a lot of mental and gentle. Yes, mental and gentle. Shrink your head and fill your teeth. Yes.
Deborah :Unfortunately, and of course it was uh Tony, Tony was the guiding force behind the creation of Tony's place because he realized that there was a need for providing services to the people that are sometimes uh faced with being unhoused and especially the younger people.
SPEAKER_06:And I love me some Carrie Ray from Tony's Place.
Deborah :Yes, indeed.
SPEAKER_06:Oh yes, definitely.
Deborah :Our community is just full of so many amazing people and it really is. I just like I can't believe the people that I know. They're so interesting.
SPEAKER_06:Do we take this for granted living here in Houston? The quality of the people are so great. Do we just 'cause maybe this isn't the same everywhere else, and what do people do?
Deborah :Well, I I think we do tend to take it for granted because especially like when you start off and you come out and you first started getting involved in the community and you don't realize like every person you meet is a hero or a shiro.
SPEAKER_06:I know.
Deborah :There w the we're we're all fighting the good fight. We're we're all trying to make things better. And you know, when we unite, that's what we do.
SPEAKER_06:So all colours of the rainbow coming together.
Deborah :Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_06:That's what we can whisper for Christmas.
Brett:Is that we all do that and recognize each other for that.
SPEAKER_06:God blesses everyone.
Deborah :And with that, I think we should say ado.
SPEAKER_06:Thank you, R Lee, Brett, and Deb for putting up with all my stuff for this last year.
Deborah :What does that mean? Well, we'll talk to you about that at your next review.
Lee:Sounds familiar.
SPEAKER_06:I just had my annual review at work.
Lee:Oh, love those. Well, appreciate all of you and everything that you've done. You talk about remarkable people, and I certainly count you among the top in our community. So it's my pleasure to know each of you and spend time with you. Thank you, sir.
SPEAKER_00:Oh shit.org.
